someone has to kill me
po says if we knew drake he would definitely have a crush on me and i’m just going to cling to that fantasy world forever until the end of time
the first female chinese immigrant to america was a sixteen-year-old girl who was part of a cultural exhibit where she sat in a life-size diorama and people watched her eat with chopsticks while wearing silk clothes and that’s really all you need to know about the commodification of chinese women
Six simple rituals:
1. Drink a glass of water when you wake up. Your body loses water while you sleep, so you’re naturally dehydrated in the morning. A glass of water when you wake helps start your day fresh.
2. Define your top 3. Every morning ask yourself, “What are the top three most important tasks that I will complete today?” Prioritizes your day accordingly and don’t sleep until the Top 3 are complete.
3. The 50/10 Rule. Solo-task and do more faster by working in 50/10 increments. Use a timer to work for 50 minutes on only one important task with 10 minute breaks in between. Spend your 10 minutes getting away from your desk, going outside, calling friends, meditating, or grabbing a glass of water.
4. Move and sweat daily. Regular movement keeps us healthy and alert. It boosts energy and mood, and relieves stress.
5. Express gratitude. Gratitude fosters happiness. Each morning, think of at least five things you’re thankful for. In times of stress, pause and reflect on these things.
6. Reflect daily. Bring closure to your day through 10 minutes of reflection. Asks yourself, “What went well?” and “What needs improvement?”"
Anonymous said: Do you create music?/?
i wouldn’t call it ” music ” as opposed to really super crappy shitty non-musical unfinished ableton projects???? more like experimental/ambient soundscapes??? lmao
the other day i was talking to someone about mumu being an abused cat and how she has so many complex trust issues now (won’t enter a room unless everyone in the room looks away, often won’t eat her food if ppl are in the room, sometimes needs to be patted by people she trusts so she can eat without fear of being kicked or hit, cuddles are always on her terms etc)
and i said “she keeps me at arm’s length” and i just couldn’t believe i was saying that about a cat but it’s fucking true…. cats are just little furry people it’s so cool
next on What The Fuck Am I Hahahahahaha??? watch me struggle to comprehed whether I, as a person with chinese heritage on my samoan side, am asian or not (like how many generations back before it counts you know? and what the fuck is “Asian Pacific Islander” seriously what?) So, let’s review:
things i am:
brown, mixed race, samoan
things i am not:
things i might be:
this my twitter feed rn if someone with some kind of authority on this matter can hmu that would be greatly appreciated this is literally my greatest internal struggle i have no idea who or what i am please help me
I can only speak on U.S. things (I never spent enough time in NZ to have a confident grasp, I will say that I was treated like shit in NZ though).
In the U.S., for recording purposes, Polynesians are typically lumped in with the ever-infuriating “API” moniker. If we’re lucky, there will be a box that says “Native Alaskan/Native Hawaiian or Pacific Islander”, but that, in my experience has been pretty infrequent and also a ridiculous catch all in it’s own ways.
In the places with high concentrations of Samoans and Tongans in the U.S., the incarceration, health, wage, and education disparities are similar to those of black folks and native folks. Samoans, like every other ethnic group, have a range of phenotypical characteristics - making us racially ambiguous and mistaken (or not, depending) for latino or black (at least within U.S. racial constructs). These come with the corresponding racist bullshit.
I have never called myself black because I think that the black american experience, as it was explained to me, was never my experience. I know that the black american experience is vast, and also that not all black folks in the U.S. are American, but it was all so complicated so I just called myself Samoan. When I was a kid, it was different. I lived in a predominantly black neighborhood and went to predominantly black schools. My classmates always called me black and asked why my mom let me get a weave when I was so young (my hair was to my waist at least). I really didn’t know what the fuck they were talking about, and spent lots of time letting people look at my hair? lol I was hypersexualized and abused, people would cut my braids off in class, tell me that I should stay out of the sun so I didn’t get any darker, and ask 5 million probing questions about my heritage, no one ever asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up and sometimes they just assumed I didn’t speak English, but everyone did take the time to tell me that I was going to be a heartbreaker when the time came (which was painfully soon). Because I have a different understanding of race now, I think the time for me to ID as black just passed lol. If people ID me that way, depending on context, I wouldn’t be mad. But it’s too complicated for me to come up with a definitive answer for myself or anyone else. So I just let people think what they want to think unless I need to name myself for some reason.
If, within the context of international considerations, I am considered black, then I have no problem with that. But because of how and where I was raised, Samoans I knew didn’t talk about being black, we talked about being Samoan or Afakasi or Tongan. Maybe it’s a Samoan American diaspora thing, but I’m really not sure.
I will say that it is painful, when even in radical organizing spaces, people start talking about women of color and they say “We are Black, Latina and Asian women coming together, etc and so on” and I’m just chilling in the back like………….cool. I don’t know if it’s an affront to indigenous women, but I do think it’s fucking stupid that we leave out the native women from places that the U.S. most domineeringly colonized. (And also I know that indigeneity is cross-racial, here I’m specifically talking about U.S. native folks and Polynesian native folks)
Idk if I should just be reading myself into efforts between communities of color? Should I have to do that? Does that mean I’m black w/in U.S. considerations of black since I’m def. not Asian or Latina? Why do I have to play the elimination game like I’m taking a fucking multiple choice test or some shit?
Wow, I think we need a support group for confused Polynesians. lol
Sorry I have no answers, just a patchwork of experiences.
thank u sooooo much for this. a confused polynesian support group sounds amazing lmao. i think as a mixed race samoan-australian bb raised by white ppl with pretty much zero poc friends, indigenous australians (who ID as black/strongly identify with blackness) had a huge impact on my early comprehension of my racial identity.
because they have always ID’d me as indigenous and black. and as a culturally impoverished mixed race samoan child, indigenous cultures made sense to me + made me feel safe + felt like home.
so i thought, 'if ppl that look like me that have a similar culture to what little i know of my culture, who identify as black, who identify me as black - then perhaps samoans are just like indigenous australians and are black too?'
also this is just my experience but i’m pretty sure islanders here and in NZ identify with blackness pretty strongly? yeah pretty much all the polynesians i’ve met have ID’d as black or casually/flippantly used the word black to describe themselves. also many polynesians living within the NZ/AUS disapora identify with african american mainstream culture and perhaps that is a large contributor to polynesians in these diasporas ID’ing as black.
also throughout primary school + high school (and obviously beyond that) people always asked if i was different things - latina, aboriginal, black, “some kind of asian” etc. racial slurs have always been varied but the main ones always assumed blackness/indigeneity
anyway all of that has contributed to my immense confusion but i think you, and others - s/o to tab, safy and po who i also berated with questions despite not being polynesian, thanks mates - have helped me reach a point where i can see that i don’t actually ID as black (i’ve just had lots of people tell me i am).
thank you amazing ppl of colour around me helping me figure my shit out, especially thank you tricia for your response, i am blessed